On the other side of our darkest day

In February 2020, NHL player and then-forward for the Ottawa Senators, Bobby Ryan, stepped on the ice to play his first home game in three months after taking time away to seek treatment for addiction.

In this moment, displayed on national television, was the most beautiful glimpse of what the other side of the stigma of addiction might look like.

As Bobby Ryan played that night, scoring three goals for a hat trick game, the crowd erupted in applause. Standing to their feet with signs and shouts and all the energy in the world, the stadium welcomed one of their own back to the ice.

After his third goal, Bobby Ryan took his seat on the bench, and with tears in his eyes, the announcers, fellow players and every bystander in the stadium witnessed the healing power of love and dignity right in front of their eyes.

As the crowd chants his name, we see the tears of a person overwhelmed by compassion.

From the first time I watched the video of this beautiful experience, to today, as I reflect on it over a year and a half later, I can’t get through it without crying. Because the applause in the stadium that day said more eloquently than anything that could be written about what we’re fighting for on behalf of those in recovery.

We’re glad you’re here.
We missed you.
We’re proud of you.
Welcome home.

In that moment, a word like addiction and the weight it has carried in our society didn’t seem to matter, nor that it had afflicted one of their own. The applause was absent of the shame, stigma and silence that usually greets addiction — not that night, and not with that crowd.

This was their Bobby, and he was back.

Littered across the stadium were signs showing support and solidarity — signs like “We missed you, Bobby!” and “Welcome home.”

The display offered to Bobby Ryan showed us a powerful glimpse of exactly what we’re fighting for on behalf of those in recovery.

Dignity.
Respect.
Belonging.

That glimpse into a future marked by compassion means something much greater and more profound — for the families observing, the friends watching, the ones still struggling. I hope this moment, and others like it, starts to change our minds about what it’s like to ask for help and what waits for us on the other side of a courageous decision.

The example we set by our response paves the way for a more powerful message than what we’ve traditionally known.

When we see the applause, the celebration, the acceptance and the love, let it be known this is what’s possible on the other side of your darkest day.

Without knowing Bobby Ryan, I’ve liberally allowed my mind to wander over the past year, wondering what things must have been like just moments before the one we witnessed.

The courage it took to step onto the ice that night, and the courage it took to step away in the first place.

The moments witnessed that night are symbolic about all it means to take the leap of vulnerability, a leap that isn’t unique to Bobby Ryan.

Anyone who has opened that unfamiliar door to help knows the feeling. It takes courage walking out into the unknown, not knowing what’s in store for our lives after we say ‘yes.’

Thankfully, for Bobby Ryan, that night on the ice showed us exactly what is possible — what we have the ability of building for each other and the cause of recovery — a net of grace, love and dignity waiting for the ones we love when they need it most.

The applause.
The standing ovation.
A reminder of belonging.

That night in February, the stadium and all who stood would see Bobby Ryan play a hat trick game, a victory for the Senators, and the poignant subtlety of tears wiped away in response to a display of grace in an unexpected place.

Ryan would later go on to be awarded the 2019–2020 season Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy, an award given to a player that most exemplifies ‘perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication’ to the game of hockey.

For the rest of us, it exemplified something else, too.

In an interview after the game, Ryan tearfully recounts his experience that night — the emotional victory, the patience it took to spend 100 days away, and the love and support of his family, his community and his wife.

During the interview, that moment on the bench earlier in the night is referenced, the moment when the stadium stood in applause, chanting Bobby’s name in support of a true welcome home.

When we think of all there is to be gained on the other side of our darkest day, this is Bobby Ryan’s response to what the moment meant to him:

“Everything.”